I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything on this space. From 2013-2017, this blog had been sacred to me. But to be completely honest, I stopped writing because it became increasingly harder to find opinions worth saying that I hadn’t already said. I couldn’t find the usefulness in this space. I had a full teaching load, a PhD program, and made an album and am working on another. I ran out of steam, and this blog just didn’t fit in the hustle. I slipped, and I am sorry. And now a lot has happened in the last few years throughout the world, and maybe this blog could have helped a lot of us work through it. With the events of this past week I’m wondering if we’ll ever be able to sway public conscience on Black humanity. Especially through a medium like this. But if this blog does nothing else, even if I am preaching to the choir, let this be a space for US.
As Minneapolis goes up in flames, and justifiably so—I am thinking back to November 2014, when Darron Wilson was not indicted for the murder of Mike Brown, and what followed: a lot of non-black folk, mainly white—most who would consider themselves anti-racist allies doing the ‘good’ work—quickly telling us that this was not the case to rally behind. To a lot of white people, Mike Brown did not deserve the support of a racial justice movement. To them, Mike Brown did not follow the respectability politics society has always prescribed to black men who deserve their lives. To them: Mike Brown’s death was his own undoing.
It was in 2014, as I was living in a New England white college town that claimed to be far-left progressive, when your boy had never seen his surroundings clearer. I saw that for a lot of these ‘white allies’, Black humanity came with certain terms and conditions. Mike Brown was never meant to be saved. I remember one of my closest college friends, who happens to be white and claimed to be an ally, made this point clear to me and everyone in a lengthy social media post. I saw people who I knew and thought were on team #Woke support this view. These were same people who posted #BlackLivesMatter, the same people who would read and share this blog, the same people that would agree that racism might be the most pressing and oldest issue in this country. These were some of the same people who were actively doing the work. And yet, Mike Brown did not fit in their narrative. His case was too messy.
Its clear to me now that white allyship has its limits, because too many white people lack the capacity to fully comprehend the pain, hopelessness, despair, disappointment, and fear that comes with being black.
I made a point in 2014 to remember every white person I know who showed me their true colors that week. Every white person who told us our anger wasn’t justified. Every white person who abandoned the struggle when it didn’t suit theirs. I like to keep receipts. So now as I witness whats happening in Minnesota, I can’t act surprised when ‘white allies’ don’t want to show up. This ain’t the respectability politics they need in order to feel safe.
In December 2014, a month after Mike Brown’s case, the officers who killed Alton Sterling were not indicted. Interestingly enough what changed was the same ‘white allies’ who abandoned our struggle decided now was the time to be mad. Now there was a video—a horrific video—that made it a lot harder to deny Sterling’s humanity. Now all we have seen is footage of black folk—men, women, children, queer—die ruthlessly to the state. But if witnessing these deaths could change public opinion, policy, and save our lives—then why are we still dying?
As of today, the murder of unarmed black folk has not stopped since 2014. This should not come as a surprise. The murdering of black people has not stopped since this country began. Black deaths by the state is as American as it gets.
Respectability politics could not save Ahmaud Arbery or Breonna Taylor—nor could a camera save George Floyd. If anything, now the cameras are used against us. It feels like now, our humanity can only be tied to what they see, and only ‘when they see us’ die.
I’m wondering how many white allies would show up when the cameras aren’t drawn. One thing is certain: Black folks’ humanity has never been a right, it always has to be earned. And until they can get over this, they can’t act surprised when it doesn’t stop.
Soul Latte 